I unlocked the secret codes of life, connected to my partner’s soul, and jumped dimensions alongside a teenage mutant ninja turtle, all in 57 minutes.
It sounds like a scene from an incoherent sci-fi movie, but no, it was what I experienced during my first time trying ketamine therapy. And it might have just shifted my life.
The journey before the journey
First, let me provide some context on why I would get ketamine administered through an IV drip in the first place. I’m no stranger to psychedelics, and I’ve had profound experiences using psilocybin in guided sound ceremonies in the past. I personally believe that psychedelic therapy can be a helpful way to help your subconscious mind connect the dots (I’m not referring to using psychedelics recreationally). But the psychedelic journeys I’ve tried in the past are not yet FDA-approved and were only accessible through hush-hush whispers of a friend who knows a friend.
When I found out that New York had a clinic offering ketamine therapy that was legal and provided with medical supervision, I was intrigued. While I consider myself generally an optimistic person, the last three years had dulled my shine. My anxieties about the future, not having enough, and not being enough were collecting like dust on a window sill.
When a friend told me about Nushama, I had an instant, full-body yes. One thing I’ve harnessed in the last decade is an extremely strong intuition, and I tend to follow the yes’s without question. After a medical assessment, conversations with the on-site doctor, and a pre-session with an integration therapist, I was ready.
Eye mask and headphones on, sitting in a zero-gravity chair, the IV drip was turned on by the nurse. My integration specialist guided me through deep breaths as I eased into my journey. And then I was in – like I was handed keys to the Matrix. The experience was much more feeling-based versus visual-based. I felt like I was in the POV of a video game player, unlocking different levels and dimensions of life. I zoomed out of the physical realm and I experienced my ‘self’ as my ‘soul’.
I realized that this life in the physical realm is but a game, and that we are all connected to something much bigger. I recognized that our souls are in another dimension watching our physical selves interact and engage, and to not take things so seriously. I experienced getting everything I’ve ever wanted, and felt a sense of knowing. The knowing that I am safe, I am abundant, I am connected.
There was a point where I wondered if it was fair – that I have so much abundance, and if others get that too. Then I saw a wall of women’s faces behind glass, as if they needed to break through it. And I recevied the message that I needed to continue helping others.
My partner’s soul visited me throughout different parts of my journey. I could feel him, the sense of home. There was a part where both our souls were playing up above, looking down at our physical form on Earth. We agreed to remember that in the times we fight or bicker, to remember how our souls are connected in another realm, and to tap back into that connection when we forget our way.
Post Ketamine Glow
I purposely cleared my schedule for the next two days so that I could bask in the post-ketamine glow. It’s been four days since my journey, and I feel present, mindful, and here. I notice the smallest details of my surroundings and feel constantly delighted. Things that typically annoy me make me giggle. When a judgemental thought comes up, I catch it, and gently set it aside and focus back on the present. I feel more connected, more open and the anxieties that have been weighing me down appear to have been lifted.
It’s like the soot that’s been collecting around my heart and soul has been wiped off, and I am more myself.
You are your own healer
I feel that ketamine therapy was a tool to help me move through some blockages that have been circling in my subconsious mind, but the work starts afterwards in integration. I am my own healer and the therapy helped provide a ‘boost’ but ultimately, it’s in the choices I make on a daily basis that create lasting change.
It’s extraordinairy that psychadelic therapies are being more accessible and available, but please consult with a doctor or medical professional before you try anything! These are powerful substances that require thoughtfulness and care, not to be done recklessley. I caution against doing these things recreationally.