Don’t Be Apologetic About Your Instincts – Devon Brooks

One day you will meet someone, and he will love everything about you that you were so sure was unlovable.

Written by Amy C · 2 min read >
Vancouver Power Couples

Devon Brooks, Entrepreneur, Wellness Advocate

Relationship status: Engaged to Shea Emry

What is love to you?

You only know what you know, when you know it. How you recognize love at one point in your life is going to be different than at another point in your life. At this point in my life, love is just the beginning; it’s the starting point – a way of being. Love is the seed and what blossoms from that seed is what is most meaningful and impactful.

How did you know Shea was who you wanted as your life partner?

In choosing Shea, I chose myself. He endorses my best self. He frees me, he raises me, he challenges me to be completely me. That’s how I knew he was the right person.

I love this man, yes – but, what is spectacular to me is that with him love is only the beginning. The seed. There is so much more to us than love. That’s why he is my partner. That is why I am his.

What’s a major difference from your single days compared to now?

The most colossal difference is in the way that I make decisions. I make decisions for the team – not for myself. When you’re just solo, you only have your emotions, your intentions and your environment to consider. When you’re in a relationship you make decisions for the two of you. For both your individual and collective vision.

What’s your advice to people who know if they are in the right relationship?

When you are in a significant relationship that is healthy —  the intent is mutual. Meaning, even in the most difficult conversation and challenging of times you know you have a shared intent. You are passionate about being of service to each other. Your relationship is cemented by compassion and respect for each other’s values.

You vibrate a positive energy together, so people adore being with you both! They want that goodness that your togetherness emanates!

Personally, these are staples for a rock solid, fulfilling and epic relationship. That’s what we want for each other right? If these things aren’t present in your relationship — move on baby. Love awaits you both elsewhere.

Being in a committed relationship, how has your dynamic with men changed?

The difference comes not from being committed. I’ve been in committed relationships before where I behaved in a way that was not congruent with my core beliefs.

It’s not just my love for Shea that is a change agent, 
 the difference is my energy. I have such an absolute profound respect for my partner.

When you’ve made an agreement with yourself about how you’re going to behave in terms of integrity, and if there is someone who offends that integrity and the way I want to respect and treat my partner, that person is very quickly, no longer in my life.

I’m happy to sacrifice any relationship that cannot appreciate what’s important to me, and that’s Shea. I will choose integrity every time, and my energy in the world will reflect that choice.

What advice do you have to singles out there who are looking for a relationship?

Go for the person who makes you feel the most “you”, you’ve ever been.

A message to men?

As early as you can, start to figure out how to be more gentle. Every time you become harder in the world, you are further and further from love.

A message to women?

We have a tendency to be apologetic about our instincts. When it comes to sex and dating ‘No’ is a full sentence. Listen to that whisper inside you, the one we too often choose to ignore. You know exactly what is right for you, and when – you are genius about you.

What do you love about Shea the most?

His unrelenting mission to evolve. This man takes every opportunity he can to become more open, more reflective, and more congruent. Completely generous of heart, my total hero.

What would you tell your younger self

Don’t waste time on what you think isn’t beautiful about you. One day you will meet someone, and he will love everything about you that you were so sure was unlovable.

Click here to read Devon’s partner’s  interview, Shea Emry.

Photo by: Alex Jowett 

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Written by Amy C
Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline along with the front page of The New York Times. Her book, Breakup Bootcamp - The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, published by Harper Collins, will be released Fall 2020. Profile

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