When Everything You Think You Know For Sure, Isn’t So Sure After All

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that just when you think you’ve got it all down pat, everything...

Written by Amy C · 1 min read >
When Everything You Think You Know For Sure, Isn’t So Sure After All - Heart Hackers Club -  - Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart

Just last year, I was working as a marketing director at a luxury travel company. When discussing career paths, I remember telling a colleague that I didn’t want to move up or get promoted. At the time, I was dating someone who I thought I’d have children with. And when I did, I’d be a stay-at-home mom and write on the side. At that point in time, I thought my life plan was set. To take on more work and add stress to my life in order to further my corporate career just wasn’t in the cards. So I thought…

Then, suddenly everything I thought I was so certain of fell apart. My boyfriend and I broke up abruptly. At the time I was not working. I had no income, no home, and was emotionally damaged. For the second time in my life, since being severely bullied as a child, I felt like I had lost all control of my life.  I said to myself the same words I proclaimed at age nine: “I will never let this happen to me again.”

My outlook on relationships and work has changed drastically since last year. Why? Life happened, knocked me off my feet for a while, and in the process of getting back up, it changed the way I saw things.

Today my goal is to become a CEO in five years – a completely different vision from the life I planned out just a year ago.  While some may applaud (or sneer) at my tenacious ambition, I don’t discount that the drive comes from a dark place. I am quite aware that the same pain that fueled me to be an overachiever at the of age nine is the same pain that powers me today. My vision is to work as hard as I can to continue building my career, continue establishing myself as a writer, and make my own money so I can afford the lifestyle I want – and do it all by myself.

Who knows, maybe life will throw another curveball at me and my vision will change all over again. But if there is one thing I have learned, it is that just when you think you’ve got it all down pat, everything can change in an instant. And everything you think you know for sure, isn’t so sure after all. All you can really do is dust yourself off when you fall, and navigate your way the best you can until you’re back to good again. Those ups and downs that throw you off track  make life beautiful and worthwhile at the end. And it’s those same ups and downs that  inevitably what enable you to create yourself.



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Written by Amy C
Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline along with the front page of The New York Times. Her book, Breakup Bootcamp - The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, published by Harper Collins, will be released Fall 2020. Profile

6 Replies to “When Everything You Think You Know For Sure, Isn’t So Sure After All”

  1. “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex… It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.”

    ~Albert Einstein

  2. It’s bad to be sure of anything, because that is expectation. Someone once told me the word ‘hope’ is the devil in everything. Hope is to have expectations, and with that comes destruction when expectation is not met.

    We should live life to the fullest in the present and make sure we are doing what we love. That to me is the key to happiness and success.

  3. I love this article, Amy. I can definitely relate with what you said about life knocking you down when you least expect it. It seems that character is moulded during times of tribulations.

    Thanks for writing and sharing such an insightful article!

  4. Hi Amy

    I love that you are writing about this, and I must say that in my experience, as we get older, the realization that at any moment things could change entirely, or that “coming home” may mean being willing to abandon everything we thought we wanted to be, becomes more and more liberating. I have blogged on this very topic — it is very close to my heart, and becomes more important as I age (I will be 50 in June).

    In any case, I wanted to share this passage with you from Thomas Moore — out of his book The Original Self. Thought you’d appreciate it:

    “We may each have an idea of who we should be, knowing the seeds of a self for many years. But our idea of who we are and the direction we ought to go may be entirely thwarted by circumstances and fate. We may discover that we are most ourselves when we are furthest from the self we think we ought to be.”

    Thanks for sharing, Amy.


  5. Lots of certainty and quasi security chokes lifes ability to serve you.
    That’s when and one of the reasons why life throws that curve ball.
    The resultant Uncertainty allows life to tweak reality and create the synchronicities you need.
    oh embrace your dark side, you won’t be beautifully complete without it 🙂
    x Shaun

  6. This is exactly what I’m going through right now; life works in mysterious ways!! I can relate to you in so many ways, it’s refreshing.

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