A Letter to a Friend Going Through Heartbreak

We must not give away our power, our light and not let any of the past harm the future. We must get...

Written by Amy C · 1 min read >
A Letter to a Friend Going Through Heartbreak - Heart Hackers Club -  - Breakup

I have this girlfriend who is beautiful, smart, kind and vivacious. She’s one of those people that has this glow every time she enters a room, and can brighten your day with her confidence and charisma. After a long while being single, she finally met someone and gave her heart fully. They talked about their dreams, vision for the future and blissfully enjoyed being in the throes of love.┬áThat is, until that evening when she caught him cheating on her.

My heart sank watching her in pain. This beautiful spirit who only adds beauty and creativity to this world, was knocked off her feet because this man carelessly treated her heart like a toy.

We’ve all been there, or know someone we love dearly who has endured the cruel, non-sensical ups and downs of putting yourself out there. I wrote this to my friend, but it’s also a letter to all the women out there who have had their hearts hurt.

You can protect your heart. Or, choose to give it to someone who will cherish it.

Dearest friend,

I’ve been thinking about you…

It hurt my heart to hear of what happened with X, not because you aren’t strong and empowered, not because I didn’t think you’d dust your knees off and bounce back to equilibrium with rapid tenacity… but because such matters of the heart hurts, misaligned timing hurts, and men who sweep us off our feet only to not know how to gently handle our strong hearts with care…hurts.

Maybe I’m projecting, but I’ve been that girl so many damn times. Who gave love with reckless abandon, who gave all of me, who took the risk… only to be met with a man who at the end wasn’t ready, nor had the ability or capacity to handle what I had to offer. I let these heartaches bring me down, I gave away my power, I shed tears, I longed, I wished…

And while I’d never take back a heartbreak, because without all the bruises and scrapes I’d never be the woman I am today, I can’t help but feel frustrated when I see beautiful, smart, powerful, it-factor women hurt because of a man. We must not give away our power, our light and not let any of the past harm the future. We must get back up each and every time, and still approach the world and relationships with hope, love and softness. And we must be so selective with whom we choose to share our spirit, body and soul with.

I want you to know that I respect you, admire you and support you. I’ve learned that sometimes we need to cross many bridges until we reach our destination, and each time, we get closer.

I know you’re doing just fine. Of course no one or nothing can bring your spirit down indefinitely, but i wanted to let you know how I feel about you, and that if I can support you in any way, I’m here.

With love,


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Written by Amy C
Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline along with the front page of The New York Times. Her book, Breakup Bootcamp - The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, published by Harper Collins, will be released Fall 2020. Profile
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2 Replies to “A Letter to a Friend Going Through Heartbreak”

  1. This was so wonderfully written and just the little dose of hope that a women needs to keep on going. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Thank you for sharing this wonderful letter.
    I am just devistated from a break up with a truly wonderful man that I invested my time, my love and my inner being to. All of which I would not take back for a second because I loved with “reckless abandon”. I have been told not to do that because when and if it doesn’t work, the pain is so much more enveloping. It does hurt to the bone and I do cry until my eyes are so swollen I can barely see out of them. My friends and family have been the life boat that I have held on to. They are the embodiment of this letter, a true support system even though they are going through their own turmoil.
    She is so lucky to have a friend like you!

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