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breakups, love

Opening Up My Heart Again

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes that reason comes in the form of a...

Amy C Written by Amy C · 1 min read >

I don’t think I’ve ever been really good at dating. I am very careful with who I let into my heart and in the beginning a man usually has to have a lot patience and resilience to overcome the big, massive walls I’ve put up as my fortress of safety. But every once in a while, someone gets through, and when he does, I open up my world to him.

If you’ve been following my blogs, you will know that I was in a pretty bad breakup last year. One that left me hurt, betrayed and extremely afraid to open up my heart again to anyone. Getting hurt or disappointed in the quest for love just wasn’t a risk I was ready to take.

Recently, I met someone and taking that risk to open up my heart again was something I was starting to warm up to. He was an honest, high-integrity, considerate and beautiful person. He treated me with respect, was emotionally mature and his actions matched his good intentions. But the timing in our lives didn’t align. And if there is one lesson I’ve learned from my past, is that you can meet the right person at the wrong time, and it won’t work.

Usually, when a relationship doesn’t work out to the vision I hoped it would, I would feel disappointed and depleted. I would typically look back with regret thinking that I wasted my energy. But what’s different, is this time, I’m very grateful and happy for the experience. I can look back and say I’m glad I opened up my heart, and even though it didn’t play out in the way I had thought it might, I feel healthy, grounded and grateful to have shared moments with someone who treated my heart with care and respect.

I believe that the people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes that reason comes in the form of a harsh, uncomfortable lesson. And sometimes, that reason comes in the form of a light, positive memory to remind you that there is good and hope out there. I’m pretty thankful that this time, the lessons learned came in the latter form.

I used to think that endings were a bad thing. But I’m starting to realize, sometimes endings are just Β new beginnings in disguise.

Written by Amy C
Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline along with the front page of The New York Times. Her book, Breakup Bootcamp - The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, published by Harper Collins, will be released Fall 2020. Profile

10 Replies to “Opening Up My Heart Again”

  1. That’s beautiful Amy πŸ™‚ I’ll always remember what you said in a previous post “everything will be ok in the end. if it’s not ok, it’s not the end” πŸ™‚

  2. “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together” — Marilyn Monroe

    Exactly what I have been experiencing of late. Great essay.

  3. Amy – This is such a beautiful message to your readers. Your writing and life lessons often leave me thinking, which is a wonderful gift to give. Good luck on your new beginning.

    Kendall

  4. you’ve got to watch out for opening your heart too, sometimes the person you open it up to may decide to step on it. Guess those are the risks.

  5. Well said, Amy. Even though the timing was off with this new person, at least his presence reminded you that you can be open to love again, and that in the end the risk is worth it. Saida, I was thinking about that quote while reading Amy’s post!

  6. Beautiful and I hope you’re right! Good days it’s easy to completely believe in a world of endless and amazing opportunities waiting, while on the bad days, it isn’t difficult to worry that there’s no true love or soul mates or even a loving companion for me. Your blog really is amazing!

  7. I truly admire your writing. Your words makes me to feel motivated and in a way its very inspiring. Continue writing. You are doing an amazing job. God Bless You.

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