Self Esteem, You

The Pursuit of Pretty is an Endless One

To the women reading this piece, the next time your inner self-critic takes over when you're looking in the mirror, I challenge...

Written by Amy C · 1 min read >
The Pursuit of Pretty is an Endless One - Heart Hackers Club - pursuit of pretty - The Book Thief

Thousands spent on makeup, hair products and skin treatments later, and I still don’t feel pretty enough. The standard of physical perfection seems to continue getting higher and more unobtainable, meanwhile, in reality, we are faced with never being skinny enough, tanned enough or symmetrical enough. And after my latest look in the mirror criticizing my hair and skin, I realized, this desire to continue improving my physical appearance is an addiction.

The pursuit of pretty is an endless one.

I’m a woman who enjoys fashion, getting dolled up and looking presentable. But the line between the desire to looking put-together and the desire to looking photoshopped is a blurry one. As I’m getting older (and hopefully a little wiser), I’m realising more and more that your looks will fade. And, if you base so much of your worth on your outer appearance, then when gravity eventually has its way with you, you won’t be feeling very good about yourself. Instead of embracing getting older, we fear it and try to hide it based on our current North American perception of beauty.  I’ve realised that instead of obsessing over another superficial way to increase my attactiveness, perhaps its a better investment to think about how I can become more beautiful on the inside – which is 10 times more attractive than the effect that any facial or eyeliner could ever have.

You can fake pretty. But you cannot fake beautiful.

True beauty radiates from within. The glow, the energy that you exude when you’re beautiful on the inside comes from feeling comfortable with yourself, embodying confidence and embracing your self-worth. This beauty only gets better with age. Being pretty, on the other hand, doesn’t last and can be faked easily.Through proper grooming, using good skincare products like those from the Meaningful Beauty line, make-up techniques and Instagram filters, anyone can appear pretty.

To the women reading this piece, the next time your inner self-critic takes over when you’re looking in the mirror, I challenge you to stop the negative dialogue about your looks. Instead of obsessing over how to become prettier, I encourage you to ask yourself how you can feed your inner beauty. Because when you nourish your soul, educate yourself, live in your essence… you radiate a type of beauty that no model or vixen can compete with. You are beautiful. Remember that.

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Written by Amy C
Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline along with the front page of The New York Times. Her book, Breakup Bootcamp - The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, published by Harper Collins, will be released Fall 2020. Profile
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10 Replies to “The Pursuit of Pretty is an Endless One”

  1. Once again Amy, you’ve nailed it!! With any luck, with more people like you, the girls of tomorrow won’t be in such hot pursuit of the outside beauty perfection!!! Keep up the great work!!!

  2. Beautiful piece Amy. Thanks for being vulnerable with us and bringing to light that confident, successful women are still impacted by our looks. I think it’s an ongoing process, the feeling of acceptance and being present with ourselves. You’re beautiful, I hope you remember that ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Dear amy. I always thought of my mother as intellegent &loving but until my wife came along & prettied her up with some nice clothes &jewelry ive never seen that spark of happiness in her as ive always known her to be self sacrificing in raising her family. The combination of outer pretty & inner niceness is what makes a person truly beautiful and with love I think most people are beautiful.

  4. Thanks for writing such a beautiful entry on an issue that needs to be discussed time and time again, an issue that not only pertains to young females like me (I’m 22) but across all age groups. Your posts always seem to resonate spot on with the dilemmas or situations that I’m going through; I feel like you can read my mind and subsequently offer words of comfort and advice that make make me feel less alone. I’ve been following your blog for several years now and it has helped me go through some difficult times. Thanks Amy! You’re a blessing! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Hello, I just stumbled upon your page and it is really refreshing. I am now a subscriber. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Hi Amy, this is a really lovely piece, it takes a bold/strong woman to openly speak about vulnerability in such a way. Actually its just a general syndrome for todays woman but the earlier we realise that our beauty can only open the door but not keep it continually open, the better for us. I will really love to re-share this on my blog /ellyeleanor.blogspot.co.uk cos its a piece I think every woman should read. Thanks for the inspiration.

  7. stumbled across this page… and while mourning a break up I have found the need to pick my self up & reading pieces like this are very encouraging … Thank you!

  8. Very informative! True beauty comes from within. The glow, the energy that you give off when youโ€™re feels comfortable and confident inside. Thanks for sharing.

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