I recently came across an interesting article titled, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy. Some of the points that really resonated with me include:
“Give up your need to always be right.” I find this especially important to keep in mind in romantic relationships. Sometimes we get so caught up with proving who is right and wrong, that we forget that when it comes to complex feelings and emotions, sometimes who is right really doesn’t matter.
“Give up on blame.” Blame is a scapegoat for taking responsibility of your own outcome. It is a lot easier to point the finger at someone or something else instead of looking within. Blame is not constructive. It does not help you or the other person – nobody wins in the blame game. The amount of energy and stress it takes to blame just takes away from you moving forward and finding a solution.
“Give up complaining.” I am guilty of complaining, but when I get stuck in that negative narrative, I try to think of Seth Godin’s quote, “Complaining is not a winning strategy.” Sure a good bitch fest can help with venting and getting things off your chest. But nobody on the receiving end wants to hear a constant stream of complaints, and the dialogue only harms yourself.
“Give up your need to impress others.” I spent my entire teens and early twenties doing whatever I could to be liked. I wanted to fit in and be accepted. This is an extremely exhausting endeavor. Especially now, with the proliferation of social media, managing what others think of you both online and offline is just plain tedious. When you accept that you are perfect the way you are, and you embrace your quirks, flaws, strengths and vulnerability, you get a lot more comfortable in your own skin. And when you’re confident, you stop caring so much about what everyone thinks of you. You stop worrying if someone will like you or not, because deep down, you know that the people who falsely judge you don’t matter in your life.
A few points I would like to add to the list are:
Give up being a victim. The perspective that you are just the result of all external variables deflects responsibility for taking control over your own life. It is unfortunate that sometimes bad things happen to the best of people. Life can be unfair, unkind and unjust. However, being stuck in a victim mentality does not nurture your ability to move forward and onward.
Give up feeling entitled. Nobody owes you anything. Nobody. When you approach life with the perspective that you are owed things, it’s likely that you will find yourself disappointed time and time again. When you are grateful for what you have, and see positive things as bonuses versus owed expectations, you will be surprisingly pleased.
Give up pretending. In a society where we are rewarded for perfection, we are constantly role playing. We try to show the world that we are flawless human beings in hopes that we will be liked and accepted. But the beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our love, our deep, complex emotions…our humanness. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic instead of perfect, we open ourselves up to have true connection with others. There is no need to put on a show. There is no need to pretend to be something or someone that you are not. You are perfect the way you are.
What limiting beliefs do you think you need to give up to be happy? Add yours in the comments.