I recently came across an article I wrote three years ago about a heart-wrenching breakup that left me feeling broken. Navigating relationships can be tricky – you open yourself up to risk, you offer your heart in hopes that the person on the receiving end will handle it with care, respect and kindness.
Along this journey, there will be people who will open your heart without ever having the intention of loving you back. Perhaps these people were just playing, perhaps they didn’t know how to receive your love; perhaps their timing wasn’t in sync with yours. Whatever the reason, when we feel rejected or disappointed, we often question ourselves: “What’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Am I not worthy of love?” This negative internal dialogue gives so much power to a person who was just not meant to be your fit.
If I could go back to all those times I questioned myself because a relationship didn’t work out, I would reassure my younger self not to worry, and to trust the process. To all the other women out there who have ever felt the same, this reminder is for you too…
My darling girl, you light up the lives of the people you cross paths with. You leave people feeling inspired, hopeful and appreciated. That is a gift. You can color a dark day with light. You can make the dreary playful. You, my dear, have so much love to give.
Don’t let someone who never had the intention or openness to receive your love harm your spirit. Someone else’s inability to see your essence does not make you any less loveable.
There is someone out there, who will open your heart with the full intention of loving you back. He will adore all those parts of you that you thought were flawed and imperfect. He is out there, and he is looking for you. Just keep living in your essence. Play, laugh, dance… continue lighting up the world with your grace and openness. And one day, when you finally meet your match, it will feel easy. You will not have to chase resistance. You will not have to convince him that you are worthy. He will see you. And he will know.
My darling girl, your love story is already being written. Every disappointment, mistake, risk and lesson learned has been integral to the plot. Quiet your doubt. Trust in your path. Do yourself, do it well, and relish in the delicious ambiguity of love in motion.
Photo by Andre Peipe
Fall
Hei Amy. Thanks so much for this one! Inspiring and beautiful! Keep writing 🙂
I’m not one to leave comments…but wow, this is so uplifting. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks you so much for this, it’s beautiful, it’s perfect, I felt it was written for me.
Hi Amy, thank you so much for writing that. I just had a very heart wrenching breakup. He did exactly what you had described: opened my heart without ever having the intention of loving me back. It had left me spiraling out of control and now I’m left with having to put pieces of me back together. But thank you for reminding me that it’s not me. Thank you for reminding me that there’s I can heal and learn to love wiser.
Beautifully written… and so true!