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My Darling Girl

Don’t let someone who never had the intention or openness to receive your love harm your spirit. Someone else’s inability to see...

Amy C Written by Amy C · 1 min read >

I recently came across an article I wrote three years ago about a heart-wrenching breakup that left me feeling broken. Navigating relationships can be tricky – you open yourself up to risk, you offer your heart in hopes that the person on the receiving end will handle it with care, respect and kindness.

Along this journey, there will be people who will open your heart without ever having the intention of loving you back. Perhaps these people were just playing, perhaps they didn’t know how to receive your love; perhaps their timing wasn’t in sync with yours. Whatever the reason, when we feel rejected or disappointed, we often question ourselves: “What’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Am I not worthy of love?” This negative internal dialogue gives so much power to a person who was just not meant to be your fit.

If I could go back to all those times I questioned myself because a relationship didn’t work out, I would reassure my younger self not to worry, and to trust the process. To all the other women out there who have ever felt the same, this reminder is for you too…

 

My darling girl, you light up the lives of the people you cross paths with. You leave people feeling inspired, hopeful and appreciated. That is a gift. You can color a dark day with light. You can make the dreary playful. You, my dear, have so much love to give.

Don’t let someone who never had the intention or openness to receive your love harm your spirit. Someone else’s inability to see your essence does not make you any less loveable.

There is someone out there, who will open your heart with the full intention of loving you back. He will adore all those parts of you that you thought were flawed and imperfect. He is out there, and he is looking for you. Just keep living in your essence. Play, laugh, dance… continue lighting up the world with your grace and openness. And one day, when you finally meet your match, it will feel easy. You will not have to chase resistance. You will not have to convince him that you are worthy. He will see you. And he will know.

My darling girl, your love story is already being written. Every disappointment, mistake, risk and lesson learned has been integral to the plot. Quiet your doubt. Trust in your path. Do yourself, do it well, and relish in the delicious ambiguity of love in motion.

 

Photo by Andre Peipe

Written by Amy C
Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline along with the front page of The New York Times. Her book, Breakup Bootcamp - The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, published by Harper Collins, will be released Fall 2020. Profile

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5 Replies to “My Darling Girl”

  1. Hi Amy, thank you so much for writing that. I just had a very heart wrenching breakup. He did exactly what you had described: opened my heart without ever having the intention of loving me back. It had left me spiraling out of control and now I’m left with having to put pieces of me back together. But thank you for reminding me that it’s not me. Thank you for reminding me that there’s I can heal and learn to love wiser.

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